Paging Michael Bloomberg

Here's the deal, Mikey. I want you to ignore the polling that says you'd lose badly both nationally and in individual states. It's early and you've got no name recognition to speak of outside of New York City. A few hundred million and you can get those numbers up from the teens, no question. Look at the Republicans right now. Even if Mitt wins tonight in Michigan, he's damaged goods. John McCain was campaigning in a funeral home today--not a good message to send. The more people see of Rudy Giuliani, the more his poll numbers slip. And Huckabee wants to amend the Constitution so it's more in line with the Bible. You're telling me you can't get into the 20s at least against these clowns?

I know what you're thinking. Brian, you're thinking, why should I spend a fraction of my immense fortune just to finish second in a three-way race? Well, I'll tell you why, Mikey. You're right--you won't win a three-way race. That poll shows you pull more Republicans than Democrats and I don't see that changing. But your role will still be important. If you announce, you'll pull primary support from any Republican who looks at the current crop and wonders why his party has been delivered into the hands of the Philistines. That'll pretty much leave Huckabee in a dominant position, with his social conservative followers, which is perfect, because you're not a social conservative, Mikey.

You give those Republicans who are fed up with the inbred cousin faction of the party a place where they can feel comfortable while allowing them to maintain the illusion that they're independent instead of Democrats. More importantly, you'll help destroy the illusion that the US is a socially conservative nation, because votes for you and Clibamawards will be votes for socially liberal policies. The social conservatives will be marginalized, which is where they need to be.

That can be your lasting legacy, Mikey. You've probably got half a billion sitting around in the sofa cushions. That's a small price to pay to rid the nation of the ridiculous amount of power the social conservatives have in this nation.

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