Fact isn't stranger than fiction

It's just stranger that it's fact. Case in point: if I wrote a story in which a man stole a donut truck and was pursued by cops through city streets, that would be funny. But not near as funny as it happening in real life.

"Because what you have is two different police agencies chasing the defendant in a stolen Krispy Kreme donut truck with donuts flying out of the back of the truck," [the ADA] said.

...the clerk and Krispy Kreme driver watched as Whitelightning drove the truck around the parking lot twice then left on University Ave. Police were called.

Several officers were involved in a subsequent chase on University Avenue at speeds which at times reached 80 mph on University Avenue and lesser speeds on nearby residential streets.

At the corner of Kendall and Chamberlain Avenues, it appeared the truck had stopped. When University Officer Aaron Chapin stopped behind the donut truck, Whitelightning suddenly put the truck in reverse and backed toward Chapin. Chapin could not get out of the way because other officers were approaching, the complaint says, and Whitelightning rammed the truck into the squad car at about 10 to 15 miles per hour. Officer Chapin suffered neck and back injuries in the wreck and was treated at UW Hospital.

The chase ended when Whitelightning, going outbound on University in the inbound lane, suddenly crossed a cement median and nearly overturned, then sped on Locust Drive and stopped in a Copps Food parking lot. Whitelightning got out of the truck and lay down in the parking lot until police handcuffed him and put him back on his feet.

If convicted of all counts, he would face up to 9 1/2 years in prison on the felonies and an additional 26 months on the misdemeanor counts. Whitelightning also faces several traffic citations.

The fact that the driver of the truck has the name of a munchie-producing variety of locoweed is too much icing on an already-rich Luther-burger. Cops chasing a donut truck down the street at 80 mph was enough, thank you... buuuuuurp.


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