Thanks God Global Warming's Just a Myth

From the Associated Press:

"ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Sept. 7) - An analysis of 20 years' worth of real-life observations supports recent U.N. computer predictions that by 2050, summer sea ice off Alaska's north coast will probably shrink to nearly half the area it covered in the 1980s, federal scientists say."

"So what?" you might ask. "What the hell does this even mean, 'summer sea ice'?" Well, it means-- first of all-- that the polar bear's natural habitat is going to be decimated. "They're going to drown, they're going to starve, they're going to resort to cannibalism, they're going to become extinct," Kassie Siegel of the Center for Biological Diversity said. "It's absolutely horrifying from the polar bear perspective."

I know what you're thinking-- "Bradley, I don't give a rat's ass about polar bears. All they do is frolic in the North Pole and drink Coke. And aren't they all computer-generated anyway? I think I saw that on TV." Well, yeah, okay-- maybe the plights of threatended species don't matter to you-- but how about this: Commercial fishermen-- human commercial fishermen-- are likely going to have to journey farther north and compete with more natural sea predators in order to bring in small catches. That's liable to be bad for the economy. You do care about the economy, don't you?

Sure you do.

So, what can we do to prevent this? Not a damn thing. It's already happening. "I'm afraid to say, a lot of the images we are going to see in the next 30 to 40 years are pretty much already established," Dr. James Overland of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administrative said.

All we can do now, it seems to me, is try to prevent a terrible situation from getting worse. The polar bears and the fishermen may be totally screwed at this point, but we can still prevent the problem from getting bigger.

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