Jesus-- Now with Kung Fu Action Punch!

When I was a kid, we had a next-door neighbor, Robert, whose parents spoiled him rotten. Not that my brother and I weren't spoiled too, but Robert had, like, every toy known to man. He had all of the Super Powers and Secret Wars action figures (those are DC superheroes like Batman and Marvel superheroes like Spider-Man, respectively), while we had... a few of them. Like I said, we were pretty spoiled too, but going over to Robert's house to play always made us feel like we were horribly deprived. To make matters worse, Robert made it quite clear that he thought that having all of the cool toys was somehow a moral victory on his part-- he wouldn't even let us touch most of his toys, let alone play with them.

In hindsight, Robert was kind of a dick.

It could have been worse, though. It's true that my parents didn't buy me the Green Arrow or Wolverine action figures, but at least they didn't buy me these. Can you imagine. "I've got Captain America!" "I've got Superman!" "I've got... Noah."

Yeah. Fun times.

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