The 2007 Bulwer-Lytton results have been announced.
(That's the contest for the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel ... Bulwer-Lytton graced the world with the opening sentence "It was a dark and stormy night".)
This is the winning sentence by Jim Gleeson of Madison, WI:
"Gerald began--but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash--to pee."
Check out the website to see winners in various sub-categories.