To the Spammers Go The Spoils

Waterspout K. Sinkable recently wrote me an email to back up Evolves H. Jocundity's email about some great semi-legal-sounding software deals; but with Fern, Hollis, and Agatha all shouting "Just Do Her" in their subject lines, it was a little hard to focus on Corel Draw. Still, only the week before I'd gotten a similar offer from Affront U. Sandwich (followed up by that goodly Perceptions P. Whipcord)... and before that from Preheats L. Smoggier, making me think that these deals aren't "about to run out" anytime soon.

Anyway, it's Valentine's Day, and when I see that Elnora Burton and Ernestine Ackerman have both written me emails titled "Fucking Saint Valentine," I know that F-bomb is a verb, not an expletive. Those girls are wild.

Of course, I'm a bit worried about calling the gals up. I mean, I'd never really worried about the size of my member until recently, but when you start getting all these comments in your mailbox (even from lisabeth COX, and you know SHE wouldn't lie!) about how much in need of enhancement you are -- you start to realize, hey, the man in the boat is no Andre the Giant! (Maybe a bit more like Vincini...? Inconceivable!)

No worries though, I'm on it: Rowena Darling knows of a "Safe way to drown your girlfriend in cum!" My girlfriends will be so glad to hear that it's safe, the next time we get together for cocktails. I'm sure Brian will be pleased too.

This good news might just keep me from playing the SUPERBAL LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL again, or answering the email from my good friend jhxthycrvwnnkkxxs -- I think that's Bulgarian or something -- titled "cripple anemone." Not that I don't love these guys, buuuut, man are they always digging for money!

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