Post election rant--Part the First

If you're a Democrat above all else, you may want to get out of the way for this, because it ain't gonna be pretty.

But first things first. Iowa? Next time you decide who's electable and who isn't, do us all a big favor and shut up. At least New Hampshire had the decency to carry the state for the guy they decided was the most electable. (I know, the full results aren't in yet, and I'll change this if Kerry winds up taking those now meaningless electoral votes.)

Kerry? What happened to that courage under fire you bragged about in the primaries? Let me tell you something--you had people ready to go to war with you on the ground over Ohio, and you chickenshitted out. You could have at least given us a day or two. Same goes for you Edwards. Don't even think about making a run in 2008, either of you. I will personally find you and shit on your lawn if you try it. I need to change this second part. According to the stories I read later, Edwards wanted to fight for the votes and was overruled by Kerry and his senior strategists. Sorry--I won't shit on your lawn.

Now to the fun part. The first chance I get, I'm going to the voter registration office and changing my party affiliation from Democrat to either Independent or Green. I will not be a member of your party again until you show some spine when it counts. We were Horatio at the fucking bridge in this election, and the hordes came pouring through. We didn't close the deal in a single major race. Not one! Where's the party? Not agitating about voting irregularities like the folks at Verified Voting. They have, predictably, rolled over. In this election cycle, simply having a D by your name was good enough to get my support. Never again. I'll vote for Democrats if they earn it, but I will never again settle for a Democrat just because the Republican is loathesome.

And why am I so agitated about all this? Because we had a chance to forestall the coming doom--and it is certainly doom we're looking at--and we botched it completely.

Let me put this in perspective. Karl Rove has now proven definitively that you can take a substandard candidate, mix in evangelical Christianity, fear, and a few political dirty tricks, and you can win a clear majority nationwide. If that's not a fucking train in the tunnel, then I don't know what is. We're headed toward a theocracy, folks, a nation controlled by those faith-based, gay-hating, abortion-banning, rapture-awaiting psychos who live across the southern, central, and mountainous regions of the country. And god help us if they ever manage a filibuster proof Senate. Pat fucking Robertson could wind up on the Supreme Court.

We've been warned repeatedly. The Bush budget will require massive tax increases, huge slashes in services, or both by 2006. 2006! And we aren't going to have tax increases with this group, so here's what we're looking at. If you're poor and need help, you're fucked unless your individual state wants to give you a hand, and most states are so strapped right now, they couldn't do it if they wanted. If you're old and need help, then see the above scenario. And if you were planning on retiring on your Social Security, forget it--you'll be lucky if you receive reduced benefits by the time you're able to retire at 75. And you can forget about programs like Head Start. They're toast.

And what did the party give us? Electability. I swear, if I hear that word come up in the next primary season, somebody's getting hurt. Like baseball bat hurt.

So to the Democratic party I say, you had your chance with me, and now I'm gone. I'm a progressive, and if you field progressive candidates, I'll vote for them, and perhaps even toss them a buck or two. But don't ever count on me for anything again. I'm going to put my head down and hope the hurricane that's coming blows softly over me and wipes out the fuckers who like to think they're big and bad.

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