Just because it's Memorial Day doesn't mean I stop feeling snarky on Mondays. NBC Miami has a "story" on the new living communities for first year students at Our Fair University, and it sounds like it was written by someone who'll be living in one of them. For example:
This year, about 160 students are signed up for the nine LLCs are planned and include such groups as foreign languages, nursing and pre-med. Predictably, some communities were more popular choices than others.A mid-paragraph verb tense shift and a disaster area of a sentence--awesome. That might be the high point of the piece. Here's the rest:
The big winners: Business and Engineering, which are both at capacity.I really love that.
The big loser: the drug and alcohol-free community, which was, not surprisingly, discontinued due to lack of interest.
Some communities still have vacancies left: social justice, "green" and peace (now students know where to score their weed).
Our favorite, though, is the "undecided" community.
Otherwise known as the campus bar.
Pithy, one line paragraphs.
That may or may not be sentences.
And that make no sense in the context of the article. Seriously, it's an article about living communities for first-year students, the overwhelming majority of whom are in the 18-19 year old range, so is the writer suggesting that the campus bar (which does exist) is serving underage consumers? (By the way, any perceived outrage over what this article says is based on how it's saying it, not on what it's actually saying.) If the writer was going for funny, maybe she could have switched the list around. If you put the vacant ones first, then you can follow the weed joke with one about knowing where to score your cocaine and adderall. It's like using the jab to set up the right hook.
My real snark, though, isn't directed at the writer here; it's for the editor who posted this thing. I know that the costs of publishing on the web make it seem like space isn't really valuable, but come on, have a little pride in your work.