If she weren't so bent on destroying the state of Florida, I might pity State Senator Ronda Storms of Valrico. She's had a bad week, legislatively speaking. See, she's been a big proponent all three of the horribly bad pieces of legislation that have failed this week--the "I Believe" license plate, the Orwellian "Academic Freedom Act," and the abortion ultrasound bill that failed yesterday.

But it's not just for having a bad legislative week that I award Sen. Storms this prize. It's for being so dishonest while at it. For instance, in the debate over the ultrasound bill, she said the following:


"There is something magical about being on that table and seeing that doctor ... even when it's a surprise pregnancy, an unwanted pregnancy," Storms said. "And [to] see that little baby put its thumb in its mouth and suck its thumb."
Here's a link to ultrasound pictures of a 15-week fetus, outside the first-trimester period covered by Roe v Wade. If you can see a "baby put its thumb in its mouth and suck its thumb" on that, then you ought to go into art criticism, particularly the field of abstract expressionism, because you've got skills. Most people, I suspect, see an ultrasound more like Jay in The 40 Year Old Virgin, where he mistakes the umbilical cord for fourteen inches of dick.

So congratulations, Senator Storm--for your dishonest attempts to limit a woman's right to choose, for stretching the term "academic freedom" beyond recognition, for pushing a religious agenda on the state license plate, and most importantly, for failing in every one of these attempts, I award you the Epic Fail Medal with Dubya Cluster. Wear it with pride.

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