Getting an early jump on it this week, as I'm likely to be busy most of tomorrow, and besides when you've got a story like this one, it's difficult to hold back.
See, it seems the Florida legislature doesn't have enough to worry about what with the continuing crash of the housing market, the loss of tax revenues, a massive budget crisis, underfunded schools and courts and police and fire departments, and whatnot. No, there's a far greater crisis that the Florida legislature has to deal with.
Fake bull testicles, to be precise, the kinds one might see hanging off the tow hitch of an oversized pickup owned by someone of questionable taste. I remember the first time I saw them--I thought they served wonderfully as a "warning: don't have sex with me" signal to all onlookers.
But someone in the legislature doesn't see that fake bull testicles serve that important public function, and so wants to ban them from view.
In some parts of Florida it has become fashionable to attach the reproductions to the back of pickup trucks, and at least one person, Sen. Carey Baker, is offended. Baker is sponsoring an amendment that would allow police to give drivers a $60 ticket if they have the object hanging from a vehicle. The amendment was added to a bill Thursday after an awkward discussion in which the Senate tried to debate the issue without being too graphic -- with several school children watching from the galleries.Wouldn't want kids hearing the word "balls," I guess. Can't say I understand that logic either. It's not like kids don't know what they are. The worst that's likely to happen is an outbreak of snickering in the Senate chamber, and given the tone of the article, it sounds like they had that from the Senators.
But the quote of the day goes to Senator Jim King (R-Jacksonville):
King actually had some of the bull "glands" on his truck -- until his wife ordered them removed. "I have a Suburban that is all pimped out," said King, 68. He ordered the replica bull parts from somewhere in Tennessee and put them on. "It is a boss truck," King said. But every time his wife would drive to the store, "people were driving by her and honking at the bull glands."Stay classy, Jimbo. You might ask the sex workers in your district how they feel about your appropriation of the word "pimped" while you're tooling around in your "boss truck."
Here's the Random Ten--put the iTunes on party shuffle and list the next ten songs that pop up. Remember: there's nothing shameful about having Toad the Wet Sprocket on your list. Okay, so there is.
1. Mama Said Knock You Out--LL Cool J
2. Hang Them All--Tapes 'n' Tapes
3. Love and Hope--Ozomatli
4. Last Fair Deal Gone Down--Robert Johnson
5. Lonesome Train Whistle--Reverend Horton Heat
6. 9mm Goes Bang--Boogie Down Productions
7. Treat Me--Boozoo Bajou
8. I Think I Need a New Heart--The Magnetic Fields
9. No Ordinary Love--Sade
10. I Would Walk 500 Miles--The Pogues
Question of the day: what's on your car? I mean, apart from the bull testicles. Right now, I have an Apple sticker and the remnants of an Amnesty International sticker--the weather did bad stuff to it--and I have a National Wildlife Federation sticker to put on there.