I complain about my students from time to time--they have problems with subject-verb agreement, they don't know what a comma splice is, they have problems writing a compelling thesis. But I don't know that too many of my students would do this.

Coral Gables - On a typical spring afternoon on the leafy campus of the University of Miami, many of the 15,000 students are in class, others are romping around the athletic field, and a few are seeing how close they can get to a 6-foot American crocodile sunbathing with its mouth open.

"They apparently don't realize how dangerous this thing is," said security guard Roberto Heredia as he warned curious collegians away from the toothy reptile. "Some people think it's fake."
They think it's fake. Do they then shit their pants if it moves? Or are they simply looking to be a contender for next year's Darwin Awards?

I realize that some of these students are not from around here, and that they may not realize that large, toothed reptiles with a penchant for eating stray pets are actually fairly common, that we built into the swamp, and that the swamp is constantly trying to reclaim what it has lost. I can even see how they, and how locals for that matter, would be curious enough to want to look at it.

From a distance.
Last week, Heredia said he saw a campus visitor approach a basking crocodile and lift up its tail while a friend took his picture. "If that thing grabs him with its mouth, what it'll do is pull them into the water and start turning over and over in circles until the person drowns or it tears off an arm or something," Heredia said.
You can have your fancy-schmancy private school students. I want kids with sense enough to know that a crocodile will fuck you up.

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