Salon has a weird story up about same-sex marriage. Why, it asks, now that people can be married without regard to the sex of the partners, aren't more gay people getting married!? It goes on to explore the reasons why. But its very premise is supported by facts like this:
MA: roughly 30,000 gay couples living in the state; 9,695 gay marriages so far.
CA: roughly 108,734 gay households; 40,663 registered "domestic partners" so far.
NJ: 21,405 gay households; 2,069 civil unions so far.
CT: 9,540 gay households; 1,750 civil unions so far.
VT: 2,886 same-sex households; 8,598 civil unions so far.
In every case (especially VT's), it's clear that people are coming in from out of state to get married, unioned, or partnered, so it's not like you can really say "one third of gay couples in MA have gotten married!" -- but these numbers don't strike me as low.
The article argues that they are low, and gives all the reasons people give for not getting government rules slapped all over their coupling more often (the biggest one being, "I'm holding out for marriage, as opposed to civil union or domestic partnership"). That's fine. But, are these numbers really all that low? I mean, the article presumes that any couple living together must want to get married.I got news for you.
This whole country is full, from sea to shining sea, of different-sex couples who have had the right to wed since they were of age (which isn't that old, in some states), and who choose not to. Me, for example. I don't want to get married. What if we break up? Man, if we were married, that would make it such a hassle. Also, I don't want to wake up each day and look at the person I'm stuck with or that I've chosen (past tense) -- I want to look at the person and love him and want him new every day.
Not everyone digs what I just described. Groovy. And a lot of people are into marriage. Cool, baby, I dig it. It's kind of like being into bondage. Sometimes you want your nuts crushed, or whatnot. Not for me, but I totally respect that. And I totally respect those same-sex couples who get married (although I would not want to do as they do) -- that's what they're into and more power to 'em.
But to suggest that we should somehow be herding more people toward the altar just because they can get married? Anyone who agress with that, c'mere... (this is for you): Fuck you. The very suggestion makes you no better than those righty types who call my chosen way of life "living in sin." The fact that you're trying to tell gay people to "sanctify" their private lives according to what you see as "right" instead of saying it to straight people changes nothing.
Quit hassling people and go run your own love life.