"I guess you could say we talked Donkey Kong on a higher level" and a Random Ten

The AV Club has an interview with Donkey Kong champ Billy Mitchell that you absolutely, positively need to see. As many of you know, Billy Mitchell is one of the subjects of The King of Kong, which at this point I'm willing to say is one of my all-time favorite documentaries (behind Hoop Dreams, slightly ahead of Jesus Camp; somewhere in the neighborhood of Trekkies).

Anyway, as you might expect, Mitchell takes issue with the way the film presents him; apparently, he doesn't want people to think that he's a mullet-headed, bullying buffoon in patriotic neckwear. So he's conducting this interview to set the record straight, but he kinda winds up bullying the interviewer and whining a lot. Which probably isn't going to rally support to his side.

You know what I would do if I were Billy Mitchell? Revel in it. I mean, I think a lot of us already suspected that the documentary's narrative arc required the filmmakers to present a more simplistic version of Billy Mitchell to the world-- if Steve Wiebe was going to be the underdog hero, then Billy Mitchell had to be Apollo Creed. And while there's no getting away from the fact that Mitchell said and did lots of dopey and cruel things in that movie, there's probably a lot to like about the guy that didn't wind up on the screen.

For example, the Incertus crew took a field trip to his restaurant, Rickey's, a few months back, and it was great. The food was that delicious, deep-fried bar food that your heart just loves you for. The hot sauce might be the best hot sauce I've ever poured over french fries. The servers were friendly and seemed happy. The place seemed really fun. So I ask you-- could a complete and utter douche possibly own a cool bar? I submit that he could not.

So what Mitchell ought to do, it seems to me, is market himself as the villainous character, and his restaurant as his lair. But in a completely over-the-top, pro-wrestling kinda way. It's not going to be enough to just wear the American flag on a tie anymore-- I want to see Mitchell wearing the same outfit Carl Weathers wore in Rocky IV:



Have fun with it! Pretend that you're a professional wrestling villain from the eighties! Make it clear that you don't take this shit too seriously. Hell, sell copies of the DVD at your bar. The movie's being turned into a feature as we speak-- Billy Mitchell is in a position to make a fortune off of his name and likeness, but more importantly, by showing that he can laugh at himself, he's in a position to show that he's not the self-centered creep he seems to be in the movie. And that, I think, would be much better revenge than acting like an arrogant know-it-all in an interview.

Random Ten go!

1) "Just a Gigolo/ I Ain't Got Nobody"-- David Lee Roth
2) "I Can Learn"-- The White Stripes
3) "Engine"-- John Cale
4) "Controversy"-- Prince
5) "Where It's At"-- Beck
6) "Caribbean Sunset"-- John Cale
7) "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want"-- The Smiths
8) "Red Rain"-- The White Stripes
9) "I Want Candy"-- MC Chris
10) "Do You Want To"-- Franz Ferdinand


Man, two John Cales and two White Stripes, but no "Do the Donkey Kong"? Laaaaaaaaaame.

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