Finally, A Beverage That Will Avenge Its Partner's Murder and Kick You in the Face
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(It dawns on me that Emily, who is out of town right now, might like to know that I drank an entire case of this stuff this afternoon, and have spent the evening walking around the apartment, kicking everything we own. By the way, we need a new TV, clock, microwave, stove, fridge, marriage license, dining room table, bookshelves, and photo of your great-grandparents outside the first house owned by an Isaacson in America. Sorry. That's probably my bad).