Wait, what?

Hillary Clinton is running as a Vaginal-American?

Tucker Carlson said: "Gene, this is an amazing statistic: 94 percent of women say they'd be more likely to vote if a woman were on the ballot. I think of all the times I voted for people just because they're male. You know? The ballot comes up, and I'm like, 'Wow. He's a dude. I think I'll vote for him. We've got similar genitalia. I'm -- he's getting my vote.'" After asserting that "the Clinton campaign says: 'Hillary isn't running as a woman,'" Carlson stated: "Well, that's actually completely false, considering the Hillary campaign -- and I get their emails -- relentlessly pushes the glass ceiling argument. 'You should vote for her because she's a woman.' They say that all the time." May responded: "At least call her a Vaginal-American."

So beyond the ri-goddamn-diculous crack May made--does Tucker think that there aren't going to be men who will vote for anyone other than Clinton (assuming she's the nominee) simply because she's packing ovaries? Who will, in fact, be voting for another candidate because he's got nads instead?

And then Tucker pinches off this beautiful bit of logic:
Carlson also asked: "Do you think that people who are voting on the basis of gender solidarity ought to be allowed to vote in a perfect world? Of course they shouldn't be allowed to vote on those grounds. That's like -- that's moronic. I'm sorry. I know I'm going to get bounced off the air for saying it, but that's true."

If you're bounced off the air, Tucker, it'll be because your ratings suck ass, not because you say stupid things. If saying stupid things was enough to get people kicked off the air, we'd have Bill Moyers, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Keith Olbermann and Lucy the Daughter of the Devil on and not much else. (Sorry for the lack of balance--I don't watch much television.) I mean, is voting for a person because he or she shares your gender more stupid than voting for a guy because he was The Terminator? Or because you think you'd rather have a beer with him than with his opponent? Really? At least if you share a gender, there's a hope that your candidate might care about the same things you do.

See, Tucker, your problem is that you've never had to deal with the possibility of a not voting for a man, and this new possibility scares you, because at heart, you're a ten year old boy who thinks girls are icky because they're smarter than you, just like they were in 5th grade. And even though you've ditched the bow tie, you're still that pathetic little boy who wants desperately to be smart, but just can't make the words come out right.

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