The First Thing We Do, Let's Kill All the Lawyers

ABCNews.com is reporting that New York lawyer Roy Den Hollander is launching a class-action lawsuit against bars and clubs nationwide in an effort to put an end to Ladies' Nights in bars and clubs. Why on earth, you might ask, would someone want to do something so joy-killing and senseless?

"I'm tired of having my rights violated and being treated as a second-class citizen," sniveled Hollander.

Oh, fuck you, you little twerp. The very fact that you-- a rich lawyer from New York-- think you can claim that you're treated like "a second-class citizen" goes to illustrate how cold, amoral, insensitive, and downright stupid you actually are.

"This is a constitutional-question suit, which means if I win, in theory any guy in America could bring a similar suit and use this as persuasive precedent," he yammered on.

My God-- and people wonder why this country is so messed-up? This guy is trying to make it easier for whiny dickheads to sue bars that try to attract women-- which, in theory, is supposed to benefit the men who are going to be hitting on those women. Idiot.

Look, Roy Den (can I call you Roy Den?)-- there are actually real problems in this country. Problems that could probably use some attention from your keen legal mind. I mean, seriously-- instead of launching your little nuisance lawsuit in an effort to get back at all of those cold-hearted bitches that didn't let you fuck them even though you paid a cover charge to get into the bar, why not focus your attention on providing legal aid to the prisoners in Gitmo? Or maybe try to help people who have been screwed over by their HMOs? Hell, why not provide legal advice to women, homosexuals, African-Americans, the disabled, immigrants, or other people who actually aresometimes treated as second-class citizens in our culture. There's a lot of injustice out there-- theoretically, that's why we have lawyers. Why don't you try to find some, and stop trying to act the martyr? You halfwit.

UPDATE: Wow-- this guy actually really hates women. From his MySpace page, listed under "Heroes": "Frank Gifford, Mohammed Ali and any man, that's with an 'M', who fights for what he believes despite the odds."

Women who fight for what they believe? Fuck 'em.

And isn't the phrase "fights for what he believes in"?

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