What's a satirist to do?
Okay--I'm not really a satirist. I'm more of a loud-mouthed snark machine with a healthy sarcasm reflex. But even I can recognize the challenges a full-on satirist would have with this group.
I kept looking around their site in a vain hope that they were a parody, like Landover Baptist Church, but apparently they're a serious group, complete with appearances on the G. Gordon Liddy Show and with Sean Hannity, Ralph Reed and Zell Miller at a mall in Atlanta.
I scrolled through their lyrics after coming across their site thanks to Heather at Here's What's Left, and while I was touched by I Want to Live, written in the voice of a fetus, and You Can't Racial Profile, which takes dumbassitude to a whole 'nother level, I think my favorite of the bunch was probably The Illegals
Written by: Aaron Sain/Frank Highland
Lead vocals: Frank Highland
Well, if I went down to Wal-mart
And decided to steal something off the shelf
They’d arrest me and say, "That’s illegal boy
We’re gonna have to throw your butt in jail"
But those illegals sneak across our borders in numbers we can’t believe
They’re not worried about breaking our laws
That’s just for citizens like me
Tell me why do we allow the illegals
After all they're illegal
So why do we allow the illegals to keep on coming in
Well, I know we’re a nation of immigrants
If you think I’m against them that’s not what I meant
I just wish they’d come here legally
And maybe try and learn the language a bit
It just doesn’t seem fair to me to the ones who’ve done it right
We might as well tell them obeying the law is a waste of time
Yep--there's nothing like a bit of good old xenophobic racism to get the patriotism flowing through my lower gastric system and right on to my nut-sweat stained, skidmarked Old Glory boxer shorts.