Sweet freaking Jesus

I thought I'd seen everything when it came to psychotic food choices, but thanks to the Chicago Tribune, by way of Steve Gilliard, I've been blown away.

DECATUR, Ga. -- When Becky Cleaveland is out with her friends, they all pick at salads except for Cleaveland. She tackles "The Hamdog."

The dish, a specialty of Mulligan's, a Decatur bar, is a hot dog wrapped by a beef patty that's deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions and served on a hoagie bun. Oh yeah, it's also topped with a fried egg and comes with two fistfuls of fries.

Just reading that makes my chest hurt. Don't get me wrong--I love to eat, and I really love to eat rich food. In fact, to celebrate my girlfriend's recent poetry prize, we went to dinner at a place called Cote Sud, and had a dinner that was absolutely decadent. Rock Shrimp Risotto, Escargot, Foie Gras, Filet Mignon, Seared Ahi Tuna wrapped in Prosciutto, Coq au Vin, Chocolate Mousse, and a poached pear in port wine with cinnamon. I didn't eat all that myself--there were three of us there--but it's pretty obvious I'm no prude when it comes to chowing down.

But a burger wrapped around a hot dog, deep-fried, and smothered in chili, cheese and onions? That sounds like drunk food, and not even good drunk food. That sounds like "been at the $5 all-you-can-swallow followed up with a couple pitchers of Natty Lite going to the Waffle House" drunk.

And yet, the hamdog may not be the worst.
At Mulligan's, owner Chandler Goff is quick to point out that the bar also offers healthy alternatives, such as salads. But he acknowledged the Hamdog and the "Luther Burger," a bacon-cheeseburger served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut, are what draw attention.
I only say "may" because I'm still shuddering at the comparison.

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