Posted by Brian at 9:28 AM
I mean really funny. My favorite section is the one on Family Policy.
1. I'm a virgin. My twin daughters, Jenna and Jenna's sister, are both virgins. And my wife became a born again virgin after she ran over the last guy who had sex with her. We want all of you to be virgins too.
2. We need to build strong family relationships. I come from very close family. In fact, we're so close, we all look alike (except the brown ones in Florida). My mother looks like Barney and my daughters look like my brother, Neal.
3. Abortions should only be available for your Honduran maid.
4. If you're ever in Thailand, don't open your hotel door.
5. Ny-Quil and aspirin will give you a buzz.
6. Porking your Secretary of State doesn't count as sex. It's one of those diplomatic liaison thingies.